I read a post the other night on CWD where a mom got to go away on a business trip, and how nice it was to sort of get away from it all for a bit. Well, let me tell you that it's all fun and games for about 1 day, and then the dull, throbbing ache that comes with missing your wife and kids moves from the background and straight into the forefront.
It's not just them physically not being here that hurts; it's also the comfort of knowing that when you get home from work, you have someone there to share in your triumphs and comfort your failures. And your kids don't care what kind of day you had, they only care that you are there. I miss that. I miss bath time and soccer games, site changes and storytime, cooking chicken nuggets and setting out Brenden's clothes in the morning. I miss being a husband and father.
I knew it would be hard to be away from them all. I have been away from them for a few weeks at a time before on business, but that was a finite period of time with a pre-determined ending. This time it's just all so permanent. Don't get me wrong, I am thrilled with my new job and city, but what's the fun in having a great new job if you come home to an empty "house" every night? I am so lucky that every day as a part of my job, I am contributing to restoring freedom and independence to the lives of our senior citizens (and sometimes younger folks with different mobility issues); but it's just not the same if I can't come home to Amy and say, "You've GOT to hear about this lady we helped today..."
Soon, babies. Soon.