Sunday, September 21, 2008

Blood Sugar in a Mosquito

We have gotten a lot of rain here lately. A LOT. One day last week we got TEN inches of rain. Keep in mind that it normally rains about 28 inches here in an entire YEAR. So now the rains are gone, and the sun is shining and pools of stagnant water are everywhere. And what does that mean, dear reader? Mosquitos. Lots of them. Raven-sized, blood-sucking little monsters flying about like Japanese fighter planes over Pearl Harbor.

Amy, Emma, and I were outside working in the garage, and I saw a mosquito that was so big it couldn't even fly anymore. It was just sitting there on the ground. Because I despise mosquitos, I stepped on it, which left a puddle of blood that no doubt left some poor soul a tad on the thirsty side.

Then I had an idea. I was going to test the blood sugar of that little puddle sitting in my driveway. I wondered if I could identify whom the mosquito feasted on by its blood sugar results. I went inside and got my meter and optimistically tested the blood. 104. Interesting. It wasn't Emma's, her BG was 185 and climbing fast. I didn't check Amy's but her BG is rarely over 90. I tested mine, and it was 85. I think that little bastard was fat off my blood! Ha!

Serves him right.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

My Favorite Foods

Frankly I have nothing much better to write about today. I had thought I would post something about the pending global economic collapse, but I am fairly certain readership would be low. Lower than it already is, that is. Since the purpose of a blog is to be as self-serving as possible, I decided I would provide you with a list of my favorite foods. Many of them are not what you would call "Atkins-Approved." Frankly, many of them would not be "Colonel Sanders-Approved."

Those who know me are very much aware of my, um, fickle eating habits. For example, I refuse to even be in the same room with a bean, pea, or any similar member of the legume family. I don't like tomatoes or grapes (I think that would be like eating an eyeball), but I will occassionally eat corn, but ONLY if it's on the cob. I refuse to eat kernel corn. I LOVE peanut butter, but I don't like peanuts...unless they are in a Snicker's Bar. If left unattended, I would eat an entire jar of peanut butter. Seriously. See the thing is, there are a lot of foods I find completely repulsive, so I make up for that by eating LOTS of the foods I do like. Well, here's my list:

10. Tacos from a local fast-food restaurant called Taco Villa. Their shredded cheese and fresh beef are nothing short of delightful.

9. The Double Whopper with Cheese, no tomatoes, no pickles served with a syringe of crushed Lipitor. I can really do with or without fries. If the lettuce is slimy then you lose me.

8. The good old-fashioned PB&J. With Doritos, of course.

7. Big Mac. Again, no pickles.

6. Chicken Chiladas, double rice no beans, from Taco Bueno. And how often do they get this right? Almost never.

5. The Ultimate Bacon Cheeseburger from Jack in the Box. JIB knows how to make a cholesterol-laden feast of inhumanity, don't they?

4. Count Chocula, with a nod to Frankenberry. God how I miss cereal.

3. Chicken Tenders from Cheddar's. It's all about the honey-mustard isn't it?

2. Chicago-style Spinach and Artichoke Dip from Houston's. Many have tried to duplicate the recipe. All have failed. I know it, but then I'd have to kill you.

1. Hawaiian Ribeye Steak from Houston's. Marinated for 3 days in pineapple juice, sugar, and ginger, then grilled to a perfect medium and served with a loaded baked potato. I think I just had a little one right then.

I have precious few talents in life, but eating is one of them. As long as I am in the gym 3-4 times per week I don't develop a weight problem...but my arteries may beg to differ.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Search Terms

I've noticed that Kerri and Shannon posted to their blogs the various terms people enter into Google and then, for whatever reason, end up on their blogs. Here are some highlights:

"Phineas and Ferb"
"Pictures of a man after a vasectomy"
"High Heel Pump"
"Bartles and Jaymes Wine Cooler Nutrition Facts"
"Fire Big Yellow Car Wash"
"My wife's a retard"
"Really, really bad jokes."
"Pictures of the dumbest people on earth."

Maybe I should edit my blogs a little more carefully.

My Big Ideas

Sometimes I like to just kick back and think. Sometimes I think about things like "I wonder what would happen if I shot a rubber band at that customer right there?" But more often I like to think about all my big ideas. Here are two of my ideas that I think would be sure-fire moneymakers.

1. Sani-Mist. You know how you can set a bug-bomb in a room, turn it on, and then return hours later to a room full of multi-legged corpses? My big idea was to develop a product like that that would kill germs. For example, you just know that most day-care centers don't clean and sanitize all of the toys at the end of the day. Theoretically you could set a can of Sani-Mist in the middle of the room, activate it, and it would disinfect everywhere it reached. The marketing possibilites are endless I think. Hospital rooms. Sick rooms at home. If any of you out there are in the chemical business let me know if this is actually viable.

2. Jungle Jim's. This one is a restaurant concept named after my nephew Matt. When he was little he was always jumping off furniture and landing awkwardly. So I called him Jungle Jim. I digress. How many of us have sacrificed our taste buds and eaten at McDonald's just so our kids would play a bit and leave us alone? The idea is a two-story, all-booth restaurant. The upper level features booths surrounding an atrium level, and it would be a quality, full-service restaurant. On the lower level would be a giant play area enclosed with plexi-glass like a hockey rink with only one door going in and out. It would be staffed at the door and by caregivers inside the play area. That way parents can eat a great meal in peace, but still be able to see their kids playing below them. There would be a minimum fee for the play area, plus 30 minutes of free play for the kids once the meal is served. After that "rent" is charged for each 15 minutes thereafter. I would pay it in a second.

Those are my big ideas. I didn't say they were good. Just big.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Crying

I cry easy. I'm kind of a sissy like that. I cry when people win lots of money because I am so happy for them. I cry at the end of Extreme Makeover Home Edition. I cry when people that have had difficult lives get great trips or new cars. I'm just a crier I guess.

Prior to Emma being diagnosed, I had only really cried a lot in my adult life when my brother Billy passed away. That was like a week-long, soul-wrenching, burning kind of cry. Not a good cry at all.

When Emma was diagnosed I learned what it meant to cry. The first time was when she was still in the hospital after being diagnosed. She was taking a nap and we were taking in the "new normal." She awoke and was very upset and crying a lot. We tested her and her BG was 35. And I was completely useless. I'm actually pretty handy to have around in medical emergencies, but in this case I was not. The nurse manager happened to be in the room and they treated the low. And I cracked. Completely.

The next time was when Amy and I went into her room late one night that first week home, and she needed an injection. She was sound asleep, and I gave her a shot in her tummy. Keep in mind she was nine months old. She awoke when the needle pierced her skin and cried. A lot. And so did I. A lot. More than I had since her diagnosis. I knew then that part of my mission in life was to jab my precious little girl and cause her pain just to keep her alive. I was resolute but emotionally unprepared.

After that I made the critical mistake of watching Steel Magnolias. You may not believe this, but I had NO IDEA when I sat down to watch it that the main character had type 1 diabetes. But when I saw the scene in the hair salon where she had a low blood sugar, I promptly went to the bedroom and had a thoroughly comprehensive breakdown. It was a very difficult thing to see as a parent of a child with type 1.

Lately now it's been more common. Just yesterday, or maybe the day before, we did a very routine site change on Emma. But this one hurt her a lot, and she cried in pain for several minutes. So I went into the kitchen to put away the various supplies and hid behind the open cabinet and cried.

Maybe it's good that I cry so easily. Maybe not.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Winds of Change

With all the blustering about "change" from our politicians, it reminded me of an old favorite song of mine. Enjoy.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

THE Dumbest Show on TV, and Why I Am Hooked

The title says it all: Wipeout.

Ostensibly it is a television program about athletic ability and endurance. And it is that for sure. But it's also a vehicle for providing the rest of us amusement provided by the armpit of America. Shows like Wipeout and the now-defunct Dear Factor prove what I have always known: that people will do absolutely anything to be on TV.

On Wipeout, my favorite part is where "contestants" are forced to cross a bridge that consists of four very large inflated rubber balls. Invariably the contestant bounces awkwardly from the first ball and then off the second in an extraordinarily uncomfortable-looking position. Often they hit the water below them in a position that most people are only in when they are delivering a child or very, very drunk. Nonetheless, the top six that make it past the initial weeding-out stage do indeed appear to have some athletic qualities. I can see myself doing that for a shot at $50,000. And thus add another hair to America's armpit.

Now "Fear Factor" is a whole other story. If I were GUARANTEED $50,000 there's no way I am eating a rat-milkshake. Let's face it, $50,000 is a lot of money, but it won't buy nearly enough mouthwash to rid myself of a rat-shake. Driving a car into a pool of water? Cool. Jumping off a boat onto a rope dangling from a helicopter? Check. Eating a live scorpion? Hell no. No way. Ever.

I'm starting to dig this trend toward Japanese-based game shows. People in other countries have weird senses of humor, which is probably why I like them so much. I once saw a Japanese show where contestants had to drink 4 ice-cold beers, eat a plate of cold spaghetti, and have a bag of ice hung strategically next to their genitalia. The objective? See who could go the longest without peeing. Awesome.

The Egyptians have a bit of a darker sense of "humor." In one program, hosted by a single creepy Egyptian man in a dark suit, a man would walk up to strangers on the street, set a briefcase down next to them and run away. Hilarity ensues. Bear in mind this show was done in the Middle East. But funny nonetheless.

Folks, I hate to break this to you, but reality-based programs are here to stay. In a time where advertising revenues are way off (thanks in large-part to DVRs), reality programs are ridiculously inexpensive to produce, and it's easy to find actors. For me, the only scripted shows I really watch anymore are Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, and How I Lost My Penis. OK, I made that last one up, but it explains the TV shows I watch.

Oh, and to placate my blog-critics. My blood sugar has really sucked lately. Probably watching too much TV.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Reflections on a Sunday

It's nice to know people are still reading my blog!

Right now I am sitting on the couch watching my two kiddos play together and watching House of Mouse, and anxiously awaiting that time of year most men yearn for and most women dread: Football Season. That's right, as I sit here I am but 5 long hours away from my beloved Dallas Cowboys kicking off with the Cleveland Browns. Cleveland has some offense, Edwards and Winslow receiving, Jamal Lewis at RB, and Derek Anderson at QB. For sure though, they have a terrible defense, and I suspect that Romo, Barber, TO, and the rest of the gang won't have a lot of trouble scoring today.

Along with football season comes that awkward fashion time of year when it's chilly enough in the morning to require long pants, but then still hot in the afternoon. Often this time of year requires me to take a change of shorts and shoes to work every day. Within a few weeks I am hoping I can go with the shorts and long-sleeved shirt. That always seems to work out nicely. Of course in Lubbock, truly cold weather always, ALWAYS, waits until Halloween night. Every year I swear I am going to get a remote starter for my truck so Brenden and I don't freeze all the way to school and work. Is Brenden old enough now to learn how to go outside and start the truck?

I'm not a fan of Halloween. I think it's kind of twisted and evil, and lately it seems to be an excuse for women to dress like tramps. I'm not really complaining, it was just an observation.

Remember the days when we didn't have to "screen" cartoons to make sure they were appropriate? Maybe I'm just idyllic, but I don't remember Bugs Bunny, Tom and Jerry, etc. being so....sophisticated. I'll give you that many of Disney's classics are very dark.

Finally, my favorite part of this time of year: SOCCER!!! I would rather go and watch Brenden play soccer than do just about anything else. If someone offered me $1,000 to skip one of his games, I doubt very strongly I would take it. This may be a surprise given my current health, but I was quite the athlete from about 10th grade on. Football, soccer, track, wrestling, lacrosse, you name it, I played it. I have tried indoor soccer and softball, but my body doesn't forgive me like it used to. I was really into lifting weights for about a year and a half, and the benefits were really showing. I just can't get up at 6am anymore.

Thanks for tolerating my musings. Maybe I'll post some diabetes stuff later. Or not. It's my blog, and I'll post what I want!

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Phineas and Ferb

If you haven't seen this show on the Disney Channel yet, you are missing out. Incredibly clever writing that is VERY funny.

Worn Out

Man have I been burning it at all ends lately or what? One full-time job as a car wash district manager, one part-time job as a business instructor two nights per week, and working security for Texas Tech football games and various concerts. Then it goes without saying that I have a beautiful wife that needs time with her husband, a perfect little boy, and of course Emma. Emma's a job all herself. Every day I get up and go wake up my beautiful little boy from his slumber and make his breakfast. While he eats breakfast I set out his clothes for the day, pack his lunch, and gather up his school binder and set them by the door. Once that's done, I go and dress myself and complete any grooming tasks I may have neglected the night before. Once I am ready and dressed, it's time to get Bren to brush his teeth and then fix his hair. With any luck, we have a few minutes left to just sit and watch Spongebob together. In a few more days, there will also be soccer practice 2-3 times per week and games on Saturdays. (I gave up coaching, but that's another story).

Hmmmmm, what have I missed? Oh yeah, that whole diabetes thing. Of all the things I have to do in the morning testing my blood sugar just hasn't been a priority. Diabetes just hasn't been a priority. It's there. I know it. But it has taken the proverbial back seat to all the other things going on in my life right now. Strangely enough, while I haven't given it a whole lot of thought, it's constantly at the front of my mind. Does that make sense? With the prospect of my car washes selling soon, I will have to enter the job market for the first time in 8 years. The difference now as opposed to 8 years ago is that I cannot just take any job at any pay with any benefits package anymore. It has to be a relatively high-paying job with benefits that begin at the latest after 30 days of employment.

Hopefully returning to the blog will get my mind right about diabetes again. Very soon.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I'm Fired Up

Yes, this is a diabetes blog. But it's MY diabetes blog. And when something strikes my fancy I will post about it. A comment on my last post from "anonymous" questioned why I posted it on a diabetes blog.

Diabetes does not insulate me from life. Diabetes does not make me immune to the world around me that doesn't involve testing blood sugars or keeping the never-ending doctors' appointments. I would point out that a diabetic...the PARENT of a diabetic, would have more to gain from liberal policies than many people. But I will never be a liberal. I understand their arguments, and for a while, I pretended not to care. This election matters. And I cannot "not care."

Barack Hussein Obama sat in a church for 20 plus years and listened to a man that hates America. HATES America. If YOU or I went to a church that railed and railed about the "US of K.K.K.A.," and we offered the feeble argument that we didn't agree, do you think anyone would buy that? Please.

Barack Hussein Obama couldn't even improve test scores in South Chicago.

Barack Hussein Obama thinks that taxing oil companies and other businesses is just a grand idea. Right. And those businesses will just absorb the tax? Try again Barack Hussein Obama.

Mrs. Barack Hussein Obama has, until this year, been ashamed of being an American.

Barack Hussein Obama believes that if a doctor doesn't succeed at murdering an unborn child then the child should be delivered and left in a storage closet to die on its own.

Barack Hussein Obama has never been an executive of any kind in the public or private sector. His biggest claim is as a "community organizer."

Barack Hussein Obama says he didn't support the war. Wow, what an act of courage. He wasn't in the Senate at the time.

Barack Hussein Obama admits in one of his TWO autobiographies that he readily enjoyed drinking beer and doing drugs as a teenager. Not experimented. ENJOYED.

Barack Hussein Obama is an excellent public speaker......as long as he has a prepared script. Barack Hussein Obama refuses to do Town Hall meetings with John McCain because John McCain doesn't have to think about the political ramifications of his answers.

Barack Hussein Obama is the single most liberal member of the Senate. Even more than Ted Kennedy. Would the most conservative member of the US Senate be given that kind of free pass by the media? PUHLEEEEEZE.

Sarah Palin has more character, experience, intellect, and real life experience than Barack Hussein Obama's campaign could ever manufacture.

I'm voting for McCain-Palin. Change matters, as long as it's for the better.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Remember

As we near the anniversary of that infamous date, please watch this video and remember that Barack Hussein Obama believes we should negotiate with people that force our people to choose between leaping from 1300 feet or burning to death...