One of the things I really liked about Brenden's soccer team in Lubbock, the Comets, was how supportive (and VOCAL) the parents were. In a close game, you could really count on hearing their voices rise and cheer and coax their boys on toward victory. When we were behind (which didn't happen often) and not playing well, you could count on each of those parents letting their boys know how they felt about it.
I was tough on those boys, tougher than I probably should have been for their age, but I wasn't mean by any stretch. I wanted each one of those boys to play beyond what they ever thought possible, and play that way every single minute they were at practice and at games. In short, I taught them to WANT it more than the other team. We had some good players for sure, but the Comets won because they were disciplined, in superb physical condition, and they wanted to win more than their opponent did. They knew how and when to dig down and play that much harder. I didn't allow any goofing off or screwing around in practice. Getting out of line, or horsing around led quickly to a round of "drop-downs," which is a form of kid-torture disguised as a conditioning drill where the boys had to run about 200 yards or so and drop to their chest with the blow of every whistle. I was a bit of a dril seargeant, but I just wanted them to be the best, and the parents had my back.
The reasoning was simple, the best players would always be the best, and I wanted the less talented ones to be better than the other kids simply by being tough, aggressive, and in shape. I'll never forget little Tyler. He was by far the littlest kid on the team every year, but he very quickly earned the nickname "Scrapper." He was little, but he was tenacious and tough, and he was every bit as good as some of the best players on other teams because the Comets wouldn't let him be anything less.
Now fast-forward to soccer in New Braunfels. You'd think you were at a tennis match! The parents sit on the sidelines and quietly applaud at appropriate times, with an occassional outburst of outrage if someone dared to touch another player. Unbelievable. I've never seen a more uninspired bunch of players and parents in all of my life, and it's a serious drag on Brenden. Brenden likes discipline and order, and there is neither in practice or in games. I was sitting in for the coach this weekend and, I swear, I had a kid tell me "no" when I asked him to do something. There was not a single Comet that would have DARED to tell me or any of my assistant coaches "no." We haven't won a single game this year, and the prospects aren't looking good. The Comets would have beaten any of the teams we've played 10-0, and that's no exaggeration. I'm seriously considering forming my own team next season, and fill it in with parents and players that feel the same way I do. I'd be thrilled to take a team full of misfits, castoffs, and blue-collar players that WANT to be better, and WANT to win.
And I bet we would.
Thanks for tolerating this little bit of ranting. Having a great week, and oh by the way, I've ran a total of 2.5 miles this weekend, so we're getting there.
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Things must be terribly out of control in other areas of your life, that you have such a need to control these little children. You have a particularly skewed concept good sportsmanship. For your own sake, the well-being of your family, and the true needs of the children in New Braunfels, please seek therapy to gain insight into your anger and control issues.
ReplyDeleteRelief in Lubbock
And crybabies such as yourself are why the country is full of people looking for handouts instead of achievers.
ReplyDeleteThose boys meant the world to me, and you'll never understand because you weren't there.
I apologize for my less than helpful comment above, which needed no sarcasm. Hopefully what follows will better reflect what I observed from your post and would like to share with you, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT (which was absent from my original comment).
ReplyDeleteYou demonstrated some insight in this post. Would you be willing to challenge yourself to consider, though your intentions with the Comets were absolutely well-meaning,and those "boys meant the world to" you, you MAY have spoiled the joy of participating in sports for SOME with the -it's only about winning- attitude. Why, for you in particular, is it only about winning? Can a boy be proud of himself if he participates, fully enjoys himself and doesn't win the game? Can he be proud of himself even if he makes a mistake? You even used words that could be construed as bordering on abuse: "kid-torture", "tougher than I probably should have been for their age", "I was a bit of a dril seargeant". "There was not a single Comet that would have DARED to tell me or any of my assistant coaches "no."" Do you believe you should have total power over a 9 year old that he should be precluded from speaking up if something seems wrong to him?
"The Comets would have beaten any of the teams we've played 10-0, and that's no exaggeration." Please consider taking a step back and examine the repercussions of asking your son (and any other child) to strive for "perfection", perfection that may represent for you the one thing you think and/or feel able to control. You state "Brenden likes discipline and order", and about the less than military style atmosphere "it's a serious drag on Brenden". Is it really Brenden's issue or is it yours? What IF Brenden was to tell you he likes it better being in a relaxed atmosphere? How would you react/respond? Could you accept balance between your style of coaching and the New Braunfels' style of coaching? Why or why not?
"I'd be thrilled to take a team full of misfits, castoffs, and blue-collar players..." What kind of way is that to characterize children? Is the child of a plumber or a person who mops tar on a roof, less than any other child; less than a person from a white collar family? Is this charitable that you would take them? How do you define "misfits", "castoffs"? Where would a child from a blue collar family with diabetes or JRA fit into your categories,given the compassion you have for your family and the mental and physical anguish that accompanies chronic illness?
I won't share the particulars of the way I earn a living through two jobs, my profession, my outreach, volunteer efforts for those who do need a "handout" because the system and/or their parents failed them, and the care of several generations in my own family. However, I would like you to know that this liberal struggles with many issues in life (emotionally and physically), works very hard to assist in keeping a roof over the family's head and food on the table, and contributes handsomely to our family's significant payment to Uncle Sam each and every paycheck.
Brensdad, it sounds like you're having a tough time right now. Please consider therapy to gain perspective on how your beliefs and actions impact those around you, especially children.
I have no idea what to say. You took a single blog post and used it to psycho-analyze me and my life. For the record, my reference to "blue-collar players" is simply a metaphor. I don't care who they were, where they came from, or how much money their parents did or didn't make. That Comets team was full of kids that didn't have a lot of money, but what they did have was a lot of HEART. That's the difference between liberals and conservatives. We don't actually care about any of those things. We see beyond money and color, and see the person.
ReplyDeleteI helped them to be everything they could be through hard work. A lesson that I am not at all ashamed to have taught them. I loved those boys, and they loved me, and so did their parents. They saw it twice per week in practice, and once a week in games. They saw how hard I cheered for them, and how I was their biggest fan. They saw me cry after a game when I was so proud of them I could hardly speak. They had played their guts out, and came up just a little bit short. So no, it was NOT all about winning,it WAS about giving everything they had and doing their best.
When I was in college, I took 15+ hours per semester AND had as many as three jobs. In fact, this is the first time in my life that I've only had one job! So don't lecture me about how hard you work to provide for your family. And save your therapy psycho-babble for someone else.
As Brenden's grandfather and Nick's father, I can tell you that I am extremely proud and supportive of both. Brenden is a fine young man and his dad is helping him along the road to adulthood.
ReplyDeleteBrenden and the Comets are winners, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Wow...that was one of the most entertaining things I've read in a long time. lol.
ReplyDeleteNick,
ReplyDeleteI dropped by to see if there was an update on the blog after yesterday's events. I hadn't read this post yet and even though it's old, let me say this:
I've mentioned it a few times on the other website, but I am the father of an All-American soccer player who will be attending a Division 1 school on a combo athletic/academic scholarship this fall. He currently plays on a US Soccer Developmental Academy team sponsored by a MLS team that will be in the playoffs in June. He has played soccer in states all over the country.
His coaches who were like you are the reason he is now able to play soccer at the highest level possible. He has natural talent, but his coaches have pushed him to hone his skills and continually be better.
The anonymous Freud wanna-be who criticized you is the kind of parent who needs to keep their kid in rec soccer. And just to tie two ideas together, I'd bet this guy would try to negotiate with the bully too.
Brian (Illinifan)